


with you not around, it's a little bit more than i can stand

by orphan_account



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: ...twice, AU, Angst, Couches, Drunken Kissing, F/M, Fluff, Kissing, Love Confessions, but they weren't really that drunk, these two dorks i swear i'll never be over it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 13:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9325706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: She’s been gone for 6 months to the day. And Fitz misses her like hell. He misses the humming he’d hear from their kitchen as she cooked for them. He misses the movie nights they used to have while the weather was cold, huddled under the heavy blankets. He misses the mornings following those movie nights, where they would both wake up tangled in limbs and mingled breaths. The atmosphere of their shared flat has lost its warmth with her gone. He misses her.-or-When Jemma leaves, Fitz hurts.When Fitz stays behind, Jemma hurts.Without each other, they both hurt.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theskyefalls (emmathecharming)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmathecharming/gifts).



> Two uploads in one day, what is this madness?!?  
> This one is for [@karasimmons](karasimmons.tumblr.com) on tumblr who requested FS + 11, "Their eyes met. Suddenly, they were alone in the crowd."
> 
> Hope you like it!
> 
> Title comes from "Wait For You" by Elliott Yamin.

She’s been gone for 6 months to the day. And Fitz misses her like hell. He misses the humming he’d hear from their kitchen as she cooked for them. He misses the movie nights they used to have while the weather was cold, huddled under the heavy blankets. He misses the mornings following those movie nights, where they would both wake up tangled in limbs and mingled breaths. The atmosphere of their shared flat has lost its warmth with her gone. He misses _her_.

If only he had told her how he felt before she left, then maybe she would’ve stayed. They could’ve taken time to figure out why their eyes both linger on each other when they’re going on dates with other people. They could’ve explored that warm feeling in their stomachs when their hands accidentally meet. They could’ve had _more_.

Fitz had given up when he got a text from Jemma after her first month gone saying she met someone. Someone that wasn’t him.

He tried to get himself out there; he went on a few dates with a few nice girls. But when the end of the night came, he found himself angry and upset with what he was doing.

They were drunk, the night she left.

He remembers what she had said.

_I’ll miss you._

He remembers what he had said.

_I’ll miss you too._

He remembers what she had said, in a hushed tone.

_I love you._

He remembers what he had said, as he leaned forward.

_I love you too._

It had taken them 10 years to reach this point; to allow them this moment. To fall into each other and forget about all the lines between them. The line between friendship and something more than that had vanished, leaving them with the grey area they were in. Fitz had allowed the bittersweet moment to pass for longer than he had intended. He had allowed his lips to move gently across hers, begging her to stay, tasting the faint taste of alcohol on her tongue.

And then, just as quickly, she had grabbed her things and walked through the door and out of his life.

Neither of them were truly drunk that night.

A loud beeping noise knocks him out of his thoughts and he reaches into his pocket to retrieve his phone.

[Jemma:] _I’m almost there._

He smiles down at his phone with excitement, but his heart suddenly beats faster and his palms start to swear.

She had texted him a week ago telling him that she was going to be coming home - she had used to word _home_ \- for a week. Fitz, of course, was ecstatic, seeing as though he only saw pictures of her since she’s been gone. But he had also started to panic? What if she was different and didn’t want to be around him anymore? What if she didn’t recognize him (he had started to develop some stubble and changed his wardrobe with his job change)? What if she brought _him_?

All of these thoughts rushing through his head immediately vanished with another text popped up on his screen.

[Jemma:] _Look up._

He follows the instruction, and his eyes travel over to the door where people were crowding out of the terminal, carrying their bags and children out of the door. But he stopped noticing them as his eyes found their destination.

Their eyes met. Suddenly, they were alone in the crowd.

Her hair was longer than he remembered, and her outfit was as sophisticated as her new job was. But her eyes - the same eyes he keeps happening to get lost in - are still the same as when she was still here.

She starts walking towards him, and he follows the same motion, before they’re both a couple feet away from each other. They both stop, just taking a moment to soak the moment in. And then Jemma drops her suitcase, moves the rest of the way and jumps into his arms, allowing her arms to circle around his neck and her head to rest in the joint between his shoulder and neck.

Fitz’s arms wrap tightly against her back, pulling her closer into his embrace, and it’s just the two of them in that moment. They’re not in the airport terminal. They’re not surrounded by hundreds of people who are wondering about their story. They’re in their own little world, a forcefield protecting them from onlookers who pass comments and wonder about their story.

After a few moments, Fitz starts to feel hot moisture on his neck, and he pulls Jemma back to see tears stain her cheeks. It resembles his own.

He reaches forward with his hands just as she does the same to him and they both laugh, wiping the tear tracks from each other’s faces. His hands leave her face, remembering _him_ , but her own stay on his face. Her thumbs scratch along his stubble, and her eyes stare up into his own with a hint of curiosity in them. But the glint disappears as soon as he deciphers it. Her hands pulls away as do his arms from her back, and she smiles shyly at him.

“Can you bring me home?”

\------

They’re quiet the whole way back to their flat - it’ll always be _their_ flat, even if she isn’t really there anymore - with Jemma looking out the window at the decorative lights that litter the trees. Fitz turns up the heat in the vehicle when he sees her shiver slightly.

 

When he opens the door to the apartment, he hears her gasp silently. He lays his jacket over the couch and turns to see Jemma sliding her own coat off and hanging it up on the hook.

_Just like old times._

Her hand slides delicately across the wall as she peers up at the pictures of them that he never bothered to take down. "It looks the same since the last time I was here," she says, her eyes still focused on the pictures above her head.

"Yeah," he agrees, "I never really bothered to do anything."

She looks back at him.

"You were always the one to decorate," he says with a smile.

She hums contentedly. "That's because you have no sense of style."

"I have _some_ sense of style, Simmons," he scoffs, "I even managed to put together this outfit without having to ask Bobbi or Daisy to help out." He almost says her name among their other mutual friends, but he didn't want to push it.

When he looks her way, he watches her eyes trail up his body. He suddenly feels very hot under her gaze.

"I see. You, um, look different," Jemma observes, and Fitz has to roll up his sleeves because _has it suddenly increased twenty degrees in the past few seconds_?

He opens his mouth to say Something, but her hands fly out and she gestures wildly. "Not bad different. Just um," she stutters.

"You look nice too, Jemma," Fitz finishes for her. They've always been good at finishing each others sentences and thoughts.

A moment of silence passes by, filled in with the smiles on both their faces, before Fitz claps his hands. "Beer."

"What?" she asks, scrunching her nose and tilting her head to the side.

"I have some beer," Fitz says, "That we can drink to celebrate your visit." He walks past her into the kitchen to retrieve to bottles out of the fridge and hands one to her. Cracking it open, she takes a long gulp of the liquid. Fitz watches her as she downs the drink, and takes a little swig of his own.

"I remember how good this tasted," Jemma says, "Last time I remember drinking it was..."

Her thoughts trail off, and Fitz knows exactly where she's going with the sentence. The last time they both had their special beer was six months ago. A few feet away on their couch. When they didn't have enough to drink but acted as if they had too much and acted on that fact. Fitz can still taste it on her lips as he drinks it from the bottle. Before he realizes it, its empty and he's trying to drink nothingness into his mouth.

"You said you were here for a week?" Jemma looks up from her bottle with a confused look on her face. But it's quickly replaced with a strained smile and a nod.

"Or longer," she whispers.

Fitz sets his empty bottle down. "Why are you really here, Jemma?" He doesn't know what he's expecting to hear. That she's never coming back. That things with _him_ are getting serious. But then he looks at her hand and makes a mental note that it isn't that serious yet. Losing her job isn't really an option seeing as though she loves work more than life itself. What she _does_ say, however, incorporates all of those things but in different ways.

"I, uh, quit my job," she says. She wanders over to the couch and sinks down into the middle cushion. Setting her near empty bottle onto the table in front of her, she tangles her fingers together. "Yesterday."

Fitz sits down on the arm of the couch and faces her. "Why?"

She still doesn't look up. "Because I need you," she murmurs.

"What?" Fitz asks, dazed.

That's when she finally looks up at him. "I need you, Fitz." She twists her body to fit her feet up on the couch. "I can't go every day missing someone that I decided to leave. It shouldn't be like that." She pauses. "I took that job as a test."

"A test?"

"Yeah." She tucks her hair behind her ear exhales loudly. "I took that job to see what it would be like to go a year without you. Looks like I failed seeing that I only lasted six months before I came to a conclusion."

She leans forward and grabs his hand that was resting on his thigh. He hopes to God that she doesn't how bad its shaking.

"I tried to get myself out there. I went out for drinks with some of my coworkers after work. I had a boyfriend for all of a week before I told him I couldn't do it. I went on dates with guys after that but I could only think about what you would think of them."

"What are you saying, Jemma?"

Her cold hand in his own was far too distracting, not when her thumb was running up and down the back of his hand.

"I wasn't drunk that night, Fitz."

He sighs. "Neither was I."

She scoots even closer until she was pushed up right against the arm of the chair where he was sitting. "Then why is it so hard for you to see that I'm here? I quit my damn job so I could come back to you, to be here with you. If you really meant what you said and did that night, then show me."

It only takes him a few seconds to process what she's saying before he leans forward and presses his lips to her, swallowing her gasp. It starts out nice and sweet: her lips move soft against his, with her hand fisting into his shirt and her other one still clutching his. But when her hand slips up to the hair on his neck and turns her head to deepen the kiss, he knows there's no point of return.

He moves off the arm of the chair and onto the couch without breaking contact, and she scoots back to allow room for him. They pull apart to catch their breath, but then fuse back together the next moment, kissing each other fuller and harder. He breaks the kiss again to push Jemma down gently to settle on her back, and he lays down on top of her.

Taking a good look at her, he realizes just how much he wanted this. He's always wanted to see her lips swollen with kisses, and known it was him that did that. He's always wanted to hold her without a reason, just because he could. He's always wanted _her_.

She smiles lightly at him and reaches her hand up to scratch at his stubble, much like she did at the airport a few hours ago. "When did you grow this out?"

He leans into her hand. "About a week after you left. I was too lazy to do anything about it, so it just kind of stuck on me." He grins as though his joke was the funniest thing ever, and she swats his chest with her hand.

"You're ridiculous."

"I know. But you love me." He only meant it as a joke; they always told each other that. When one would bring home the other's favorite food. When they took care of each other when sick. That night, when it was meant as something more, but neither of them wanted to admit it.

"Yeah," she whispers, "I do."

They look at each other, her looking up at him and him looking down at her and they both have the same look of _love_ on their face. The same look that's been there for so long but neither of them ever questioned it. But they don't need to. They've always been known to communicate without using words.

"Jemma?" His hands run down her arms to settle on her hips, and he feels a zing of excitement at her resulting shiver.

"Yeah?" Her hands are now clasped on the back of his neck, and the look she gives him is anything but an innocent one.

He doesn't respond; he just leans down and kisses her in a dizzying way that he feels all the way to his toes. He whispers, "I love you," in between kisses, and when he moves his head to kiss more of Jemma - her forehead, her cheeks, her neck - she whispers the same three words back.

They both end up falling asleep on the couch, with Fitz's jacket draped over them. They wake up in the morning with tangled limbs and mingled breaths, but there's finally a great way of dealing with it.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to hear what you thought!  
> -  
> Come say hi! I'm [bioforensics](bioforensics.tumblr.com) on tumblr <3


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